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The contents here are partially modified from a newspaper article issued in March 2002. |
Yamada: |
When I read your book "Reasons Why Fathers Cannot Scold (Otosan Ga Shikarenai Wake)," I empathized deeply.
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Ogi: |
In Japan, it is impossible for a father who is also a salaried worker to bring his children to his workplace and let them observe how their father is working. That is one reason why children neither respect their father nor intend to do so. Accordingly, as a father makes an effort to improve his relationships with his children, their relationships turn to be more like relationships between friends, which put the father in a situation where it is difficult to scold. Without a deep parent-child relationship, a father cannot reprove his children even when he should do so. I have suggested to fathers to "join home life a little more by doing housework." In this connection, mothers spend an average of about four hours a day doing housework. In contrast, the average father spends only 18 minutes doing housework. But, you can't only blame just the fathers. More than 60 percent of fathers in Japan arrive home from their office at 10 p.m. or later, making it impossible for them to participate in the housework. Without some sort of rearrangement of the social system that enables fathers to arrive home earlier, fathers still cannot scold their children. If children are never scolded in parent-child relationships, sooner or later families or the nation itself will not be able to redress wrongs. My advice is that it is high time for everyone to get serious about reviewing relationships, such as those between businesses and children, as well as those between businesses and families.
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Yamada: |
I fully agree with you. When I was a child, my father often scolded me, and my personal relationship with my father was never broken, because the entire family was engaged through a special field of agriculture, that is, apiculture. Now, as I spend more time in company organization, I often found it difficult to scold my children. I was afraid that strong reproach might destroy my personal relationships with them. All these years, I have often thought deeply about this issue, so that I now consciously try to take time out for my children. On Sundays, I cook for my family and make every effort to do my part of the housework.
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Ogi: |
It is very difficult for a father to reprimand his children unless he shares time with them. Both my wife and I work. Therefore, I take part in most of the housework, including cleaning and washing. I am glad to hear the members of my family say, "Father, you are a good cook!" or "The bathroom is so shiny!" Of course, sometimes they say, "This dish needs cleaning!" Our conversation itself has value. Even if I do nothing, our lives will be parallel forever. I enjoy my relationships with my family, even when they don't show much respect and find fault with what I have done.
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